When I grow up.....

Do you remember when you were little and the things you dreamt of being when you grew up? It was and is very common to hear young children say "when I grow up I'm gonna be......". When did we stop believing that we could be whatever we wanted to be "when we grew up"?

Now the real question is.... are you saying... "whaddayamean stop believing?" Good for you!

When I was little I wanted to be a veterinarian. I loved animals. I still do. Then there came a time when I realized two things. There is a LOT of math involved in getting to be a veterinarian. Science too. No thanks. I also realized that being a veterinarian wasn't just taking care of animals and always making them better. Some animals don't get better. I never stopped believing a Vet was a very cool thing to be and my admiration for good veterinarians is huge, but I did stop wanting to be one. And that was ok. Letting go of that wasn't hard. I was still little. So many choices. I could be a ballerina.

Then comes High School and real life starts looming large. These are the careers I wanted to have:

Professional Model

Journalist

Writer

(those two are different things in my head.....what do you think?)

and I eventually wanted to be a wife and mom.

So High School ends and I decide I DO NOT want to continue with formal education. And since I am 18 and and can do whatever I want...thank you very much.... I work for a year, visit Europe for a month and then move to Sacramento with my best friend where she enrolls in Sac State and I "get a job". I work at the mall (retail is a thankless job), until I find a better job at a Mortgage firm. Thus begins my career as secretary, aide, assistant....call it what you will, to me it's second fiddle. I just have to say there is nothing worse for your dreams than being in a safe, decent paying job with medical benefits and weekends off. While my friends were going to school and studying, I was off at 5:30 everyday, my weekends were free and I had a regular paycheck. Woohoo!!! Fast forward 30+ years and guess what? I'm off at 5:30 everyday, I don't work weekends and I have a regular paycheck........... WOW! I've come a long way baby!!!!! Geez... a steady job with a regular paycheck at 18 and NO PLAN is almost as dangerous as sitting in the basement smoking pot everyday! And you know what???? Half the people that were going to college WERE smoking and they are still in successful careers now!

Stay in school.... Go back to school.... never stop learning ... don't settle.... don't get comfortable.... don't let the unknown be so foreign to you that it becomes a language you don't understand and are afraid to learn.

This is not what I was going to write but it's what came out. I still want to talk about "What I want to be when I grow up".... but it's late and I'm going to fall asleep.

...to be continued.

Little bit of background.

I'm all about anonymity on this blog, but I think it's only fair to fill in a little bit of background and then I can elaborate as we go.

I have 3 darling children. I'll call them dc1, dc2 and dc3. That's actually what I should call them because I can never seem to call them by the right names. I once even called dc2 by the dog's name.... yeah...you too huh?

I work full time. I haven't always, but now I do. It's a good job but it's working for someone else and I would rather not. But since I need to eat and drive a car and occasionally go to a Dr., I guess I'll stick with it. It's what I do, not what I am. There are days I have to keep repeating that to myself when I want to slash my fabric covered cubicle walls and scream! Dilbert has become my favorite comic strip.... Depending on the day I can relate to all the drones that are portrayed.

I was born in CA and now I live in CA again, but in between I've tasted a little bit of the world and I know I have not finished the meal. All it's done is make me want more. Travelling is an all time high, but actually living in different places is truly mind opening. I plan to live in Italy for 3 to 5 years sometime soon. I've visited Italy and fell passionately in love. I have a very special place in my heart for Jolly Ol' England. If I believed in reincarnation I would have to say I think I lived there long, long ago.... but I don't believe in that so.... France is fun to visit, but I have no desire to live there.

My faith is #1 to me, my family is 2nd and my friends are 3rd. I suppose my animals are 4th, but on any given day they can jump into the number two spot and leave every human I know far in the dust. Having said that I just have to tell you that some of my friends are more like family and some of my family, well.....they would be lucky to get a third place slot.

I looked around at other blogs last night and almost closed APQ1978 down. Wow! There are some good writers out there. But I have always tried to surround myself with people I can learn from so I'll stick it out and hopefully absorb some of the skills I see out there.

Today is a good day.

Second Post

I thought the first post would be hard to write.... and it was... but then I thought the rest would just flow. Not so much. I wonder if anyone will read any of this. I wonder if I want anyone to read it. I suppose I do care about that. Otherwise I would just keep a private journal wouldn't I? I was given a suggestion for my second post. To explain the name of the blog. Nah... Not because it's special. Just the opposite actually. Rather mundane really but I like the anonymity it affords me. I know I wouldn't write freely if I had my name out there. So I choose to be someone else when I write. You understand don't you? So no big deal about the name. Just something I thought up years ago and I like it.

First Post

I've got the name, I've got the background, I know how to find this site......

I've been agonizing over what to write first.... I mean the first post should mean something.... should say something....

It's been a week of clicking onto this site and staring at the empty space knowing what I want to do yet not doing it.....

So there.... first post.... DONE! Whew!!!

Can I move on now????

And that my friends is just a glimpse....... travel with me..... I never know where or in what mind I will end up.